如何解決與吵鬧的鄰居和被動房東的衝突?


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(這主要是我在Law.SE上提出的一個問題的副本。我根據評論者的建議在此處重新發布,以尋求更具人際關係的解決方案。)

我有一個住在荷蘭的朋友,我們叫她艾莉森。她和她的鄰居(我們稱他為鮑勃)都住在一個治療機構擁有的公寓大樓裡,他們都是患者,而房東也是該組織的所有者。鮑勃在那裡住的時間比艾莉森還長。

鮑勃每隔一段時間(至少每週一次,但有時會更頻繁),往往會在他的公寓裡很吵,聽大聲的音樂或玩彈子機(現實的生活)一個,而不是視頻遊戲)。這通常也發生在深夜,每份合同顯然不允許這樣做,而且牆壁非常薄。艾莉森(Allison)對此抱怨無數次,因為它阻止了她晚上入睡,並且因此而使她的心理健康受到了困擾,理療院本來可以幫助她的。其他公寓的居民聽不到任何噪音,因為艾莉森的公寓是唯一與鮑勃的公寓共用一堵牆的公寓。

問題:由於鮑勃本人是一名治療患者,因此房東和治療師似乎可以保護他。據推測,他有自己的行李,使他無法注意到,關心或記住自己的不體貼。儘管他們沒有明確讓他在晚上這樣做,但他們幾乎沒有採取任何直接行動。相反,他們建議艾莉森使用耳塞,因為在她之前住在她公寓裡的人從來沒有抱怨過,他們認為她可能太敏感了。當耳塞無濟於事時,他們告訴她在鮑勃太大聲時給他發消息,因為鮑勃顯然需要不斷地提醒他,一天中的某個時間後不應該這樣做。艾莉森(Allison)嘗試了一下,但它有所幫助,但沉默通常只持續了幾分鐘,然後才被打破。

應艾莉森的要求,房東最終同意訂購降噪板,將其安裝在公寓之間的牆壁上。但是,他只同意支付可用的最便宜的價格,這些價格必須從中國運出,但由於電暈病毒而被扣留。此外,在明確說明這些面板必須安裝在Bob的牆壁上才能發揮作用之後,Bob突然表示他不願意為此付出任何努力。換句話說,儘管面板是送給他的,他還是拒絕積極地採取行動來解決所造成的問題(艾莉森表示願意從自己的口袋裡掏出牆側面的面板來投資,只是為了增加隔音效果),但如前所述,它們自己不會做太多事情。

最近,艾莉森(Allison)的治療師開始鼓勵她去尋找其他公寓,結果發現所有公寓都比她目前的公寓貴得多(尺寸和質量都差不多)。儘管知道艾莉森的財務狀況不是最好的,但她的治療師仍在暗示,度過一些安寧的夜晚可能是值得的。艾莉森(Allison)覺得這很不公平,就像她因鄰居違反合同而在晚上熬夜而受到懲罰一樣,房東/理療機構應該為她解決這個問題,因為合同指出夜晚是驅逐的理由。但是,每當她提起這些論點時,他們就一直在躲避。

艾莉森(Allison)試圖就此事與警方聯繫,但他們駁回了她的案情,因為這超出了他們的能力。他們建議她嘗試一種叫做"鄰里調解"的方法,儘管艾莉森對這種方法的用處存有強烈懷疑,因為房東和治療師已經嘗試在兩者之間進行調解。

問題:還有其他方法可以解決此問題嗎?據我所知,由於明顯的原因,艾莉森和鮑勃根本沒有什麼好條件。

>如何使房東和治療師服用艾莉森(Allison),這會導致她嚴重的問題(睡眠不足,噁心等)?

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This can be a really tough situation. I can empathize with both sides of this dispute, as I have much more sensitive than normal hearing and I've had some friends who are hard of hearing. For somebody who has never heard well, people with above average hearing are really difficult to adjust for. There's a huge difference between knowing something intellectually, and really understanding it. And unfortunately, if Bob has never had good hearing, it may be impossible for Allison to ever really convey the problem in a way that Bob truly understands.

My advice for this all falls under the category of life hacks, because my experience suggests that it's going to be really difficult getting Bob to change for a problem that he can't perceive. Somebody who isn't Allison (or, for that matter, me) might be able to get Bob to understand it's more of a problem by messaging him every time he makes loud noises during the quiet hours specified by the lease. But I sense that Allison's the sort of person who gets frustrated with that approach much quicker than Bob will grasp that Allison is really hearing this stuff.

These life hacks are generally not mutually exclusive, and it could take using multiple of them to get a solution. I admit there is some expense involved, and I'm completely unable to assess when it reaches the point that these hacks have cost more than moving would.

  • Sound dampening panels on Allison's side might not work well, and the particular panels available might not work well, but something is better than nothing.

  • There could be sound dampening panels that would work better on Allison's side, they just cost more than the landlord was willing to spend without someone applying legal pressure. (I've no idea how well legal pressure would work.)

  • In apartment sound baffles. This will only work if Allison's bed isn't against the wall between the apartments. These divide up the space in the apartment, so make it feel smaller and are awkward to get around. However, they could potentially be unfolded and set up when it's time for sleeping, and then collapsed and put away the rest of the time.

  • I've used both ear muffs and over the ear headphones while I sleep. They both had some tendency to get knocked off in my normal tossing and turning, but I was able to get a few solid hours of sleep before that happened. Passive headphones don't work as well as ear muffs, unless they're plugged into something making noise, such as calming music to help one sleep.

    I've not had experience with noise cancelling headphones. That could be the way to go, except they're more expensive. The noise cancelling doesn't happen for free, so that will either require batteries or will require them to be plugged in.

  • Ear plugs and ear bud headphones do not work for me while I'm trying to sleep. Ear plugs are too uncomfortable for me to fall asleep, and ear bud headphones either fall out almost immediately or are too uncomfortable. However, different people are different, so it's probably at least worth considering.

  • While I'm not a fan of white noise generators, they work. They are themselves a bother, but once you get used to them, it's something you can sleep through, and it makes it harder to hear other things. Some people (like me) get headaches from them if they're too loud, so it's likely not an entire solution, but with one or more of the others, it could possibly be part of an overall fix.