如何要求女性朋友停止騷擾我的男朋友?


5

背景故事:
當我們上高中時,我的一個男性朋友(假設X)對另一個朋友(Y)產生了迷戀。自從他告訴她這件事以來,她就開始扮演自己的主人。她以非常明確的方式拒絕了他的主張,但向我們其他人大聲疾呼,他是她最好的朋友,並且他會為她做任何事情。為了進一步證明自己的觀點,她讓X處理了一名學校欺凌者,這使他在精神上受了苦,陷入了沮喪。
另一方面,在過去的幾年中,她有好幾次關係,僅僅維持了幾個月。即使那樣,她仍然確保她一直稱X為她最好的朋友,儘管現在他們在不同的大學裡。

在大學的四年中,我接近X,我們倆都意識到我們實際上有很多共同點,並且彼此都很喜歡。最終我們開始約會。現在,當這件事出現時,Y突然得到了一些奇怪的靈感,她告訴X她已經開始喜歡他,並暗示要與他浪漫。他拒絕了,但這再次觸發了他的沮喪。(他至少好幾年了。)

我和X因情緒低落而休假了7個月。在這7個月中,他沒有與任何人交談,而是保持沉默。一旦他感覺好了,我們回到了一起,Y就回來了,要求浪漫的關係!!!

我擔心她的陪伴對他的心理健康有害,而她不斷想要一段浪漫的戀情可能會使他再次沮喪。在我住的地方,精神健康仍然被視為禁忌。所以我不能四處告訴別人我的男朋友經歷了什麼。我只有他的兄弟姐妹知道這一點。他將從現在開始大約7-8個月開始治療。

我該如何告訴Y停止打擾我的男朋友,停止這種偽裝或她正在做什麼?

4

It's harder to fully answer without knowing your boyfriend's position & stance on this matter. The relapse of depression clearly shows that she still holds a grasp on him be it romantically, psychologically, or both. You and your boyfriend have to work together and find out Y's foothold on him.

"How can I tell Y to stop bothering my boyfriend, and stop this charade or whatever she is doing?"

Asking Y to back down is viable, but it should not be the only action you take. Try to work/talk things out with your boyfriend and draw a clear line on this matter, so that you both could move forward. Y is clearly toxic and manipulative based on what you described, so show him the light.


6

Being in somewhat similar position and knowing few people who have been in chokehold.

Only specific, decisive action will.

Your boyfriend need to tell Y

That ship has sailed, the train have left the station, the goose is cooked. The things have changed in the last 6 years and I'm no longer interested.

Y don't care about your boyfriend or yours comfort or state of mind. She cares what she can get from the relationship. You also need to remove any consideration of how she she "might feel". That also include not thinking what she might tell to your common friends. You don't have to tell anything about X mental.
Y is hitting on your boyfriends. Whatever history they might have (especially if it was one way, not-repricocated) don't give her any right to act that way and it's not only in bad taste but create unnecessary tensions.

  1. It should be your boyfriend who tell her that he don't want anything. Without saying sorry, without trying to cushion the "blow". Accepting that this might cost some friends. He should not take care for others. He should think about himself.
  2. If, after the initial refusal, Y will be persistent then you might act as a "deflector". Harsh talk, public outing (as in informing common friends about her doing and informing you won't attend meeting where all of you are present)

You don't have to mention, or treat this, mental issues. As I wrote before, trying to snatch someone else partner is, in most cultures, a big No-No.